every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You dont lie about slip and slides
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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