You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
