i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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