Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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