Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
