is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
