Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
