Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
