I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I could make wine with my vomit
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
