you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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