I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
