eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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