I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
