She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
