Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
