I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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