dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
