i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Bang-toberfest begins!!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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