He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
