Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How external is "for external use only"?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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