when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
