Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just pee around me
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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