Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
