Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
