I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
