whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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