It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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