very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
