So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
