It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
