Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
