I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Randomize
