they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
