Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
