Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
