too bad you live with your parents still
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
