Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize