sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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