You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There are leaves in my underwear?
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