Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
