Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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