DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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