So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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