I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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