life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
jump out the window naked night went bad
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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