No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
