I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
cat food counts as protein by the way
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
