Pregnant stripper...not hot.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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