A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
