I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You took a bar mat shot.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
