Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
