I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
