dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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